Feeling

“By the time you become a doctor you will be accustomed to death because you are dealing with it everyday. Maybe for the first time you will cry,stress and emotionally burdened with your patient or someone’s death but believe me the longer you are in medical field,you will feel nothing anymore because everyday we are really busy handling sick people till the stage we forget “that feeling”. But I don’t you to become such doctor, that’s why it’s important for you to keep your heart in such a way your are right now. Treat sick people as a human being, like your body deserved to be treated. Really I had experienced it, and I really don’t want all of you to be same like me.”

#I cried last night when I remember those words, I pray my heart won’t change like once I become a doctor. May Allah bless you Dr T.

Itching

#27th week

Since 2 days ago, my belly is sooooo itching. Really that annoying me a lot because I hate scratching my skin. But scratching is so good actually. Hahaha. When scratching, it gives a feeling like ecstasy pills do. Am I correct? But of course the consequently your skin will have scar due to abrasion.

To prevent this,I continue to use EVOO so that it will soothe the itching. I hope no stretch marks ever in my belly. That my asset that I have to take care well.

Maybe dry skin & since my belly start to balloning,it worse the condition. I hope my skin return to normal again. 🙂

Enjoyment

Dear baby S,
What such a wonderful moment when mommy feel your acrobatics inside my tummy.
Mommy loves and enjoy it very much.
If,
If,
If your daddy is here, he definitely has the same enjoyment.
I miss your daddy so much.
Even though he is far away from us, your daddy always inside mommy’s heart.
Mommy is still counting the days, the day that your daddy will touch down Cairo and we are all together again,you, your daddy and me.

Pregnancy diet

Omg I felt so guilty to myself since I eat junk food today.
Lately I admit that I eat for the sake of hungry.
I never thought about my little caliph. T_T
Sometimes, when I came back from class I just want to rest without thinking about cooking.
That is worse because I tend to eat unhealthy and unbalance food.
Aaaaaa..I am so sad. I promise to myself and my baby that I will eat right food from now and through my life,inshaAllah.
This precious body is a gift from Allah. I should be grateful by taking care of it well, by eating healthy food.
From now, forget the past,start fresh and move on!! Hiyarghhhh!!!

It is ok or not

I have just meet up with my ObyGyn today.
Everything is normal except for the placenta’s site. Dr said it is low. Yet Dr can’t confirm the exact position unless I do Doppler’s test.
I just silent and try hold my tears from bursting out.
I know the outcome. I learn about it.
Once I went out of clinic, my tears bursting out non-stop. I can’t hold my cry anymore.
It is hard to accept the reality but maybe my pregnant hormone make me feel too much worry. 😦

Baby’s name

My husband and I have been searching few names for our future baby. Yet we don’t decide the right one.

While I’m preferring one word only he want to add another names. Sometimes, we do argue on such thing. Haha..However after I trying to  persuade him many times, he finally agree to put only one word@name for our child’s name. Yeayy, mission accomplished!! ^_^

I have strong reasons why I choose only one name. The first, my husband’s name is 3 words like me too. I can’t imagine how long my child’s will be if we give him@her 2@3 names especially when we write with family name.

Second, I have complicate name. It really annoying me when people call or write my name in wrong spelling. Because of that, I promise to myself that I won’t give weird or hard-to-spell name to my future children.

Third, being in Egypt which most of them have one name only also a factor.

Fourth, the name that parents given to their children is such a duaa’ for children. Thus, by giving a name with good meaning play big influence in the children’s personality and life.

Finally, I believe that every parent want to choose the best for the children. So make sure we pick the right name for our children as a prayer for them. And for myself, I don’t want to reveal my babies-name-list yet until my little caliph is born. I can’t wait to see my baby. Really I miss my baby so much.

My life update

Assalamualaikum wbt.
It had been quite long time I didn’t post anything here. In fact my life is getting merrier with the presence of my little caliph.

Now I’m pregnant for 22weeks. Alhamdulillah, it is really wonderful amazing journey. The baby’s sex is not reveal yet. Seems the baby is so shy to show her dot dot. Haha. But now, my baby is kicking so actively especially during in the lecture, praying, and when I’m put on music. Alhamdulillah, I’m so blessed being pregnant. I can’t say it is easy, it’s not easy but I believe I can make it through,inshaAllah.

After having enjoyment during winter break,it’s time to focus to study back. But I still having jet lag and post-vacation syndrome. Pfffftt..I hope my body is going to be normal again.

By the way, I miss my husband a lots. Everyday we keep calling, messaging, skyping,vibering what else? We use all the modern technology to make ease for us connecting each other yet it is still not same. I miss his smell, hugs, kiss, jokes, laugh and everything about him. I really miss him. Being in distant relationship is tough but there must be sweetness there,right? So, as my husband said, just be patient. There’s must be reasons why Allah choose us to be in such condition. And I believe in Him.

Before I end my writing, I would like to share a quote:

image

Rough day

Dr T asked us to do some clinical examinations on 2 patients today. Both are cardiac cases. So, my thought is like, ouh cardiac i’m not mastering it well yet. Still with discussion and helping by my friends i made it plus minus.

The other thing is we had percussion test on mannequin. This is the worst part for me,when i am in front of doc i forgot how to do percussion. Omg, what is wrong with me!!! In the end i made percussion without full confidence. I hate this. The doc marked my score and told me, “It seems you don’t study well. Please study well next time.” Then I took the score paper without saying anything because I want to cry actually but need to hold it. I stared at my score and trying to calm myself. Yes, honestly i felt so worst and frustated. I felt like i wanna give up medicine. But this is not what I want the ending of my life. I want the bright, successful future. I took this path and i dont want to stop at half way. I cant lie myself how down and frustated i felt.
And i know, i am not alone. My friends also felt the same. Indeed we are still learning. Medical is fun for me but sometimes make me stress too.

I have a big dream which is to be a master in my field. That is what a muslim supposed to be,right? And this take a lot of efforts and hardwork. Nothing is free. To achieve something i have to work hard on it. I will inshaAllah.