Dr T asked us to do some clinical examinations on 2 patients today. Both are cardiac cases. So, my thought is like, ouh cardiac i’m not mastering it well yet. Still with discussion and helping by my friends i made it plus minus.
The other thing is we had percussion test on mannequin. This is the worst part for me,when i am in front of doc i forgot how to do percussion. Omg, what is wrong with me!!! In the end i made percussion without full confidence. I hate this. The doc marked my score and told me, “It seems you don’t study well. Please study well next time.” Then I took the score paper without saying anything because I want to cry actually but need to hold it. I stared at my score and trying to calm myself. Yes, honestly i felt so worst and frustated. I felt like i wanna give up medicine. But this is not what I want the ending of my life. I want the bright, successful future. I took this path and i dont want to stop at half way. I cant lie myself how down and frustated i felt.
And i know, i am not alone. My friends also felt the same. Indeed we are still learning. Medical is fun for me but sometimes make me stress too.
I have a big dream which is to be a master in my field. That is what a muslim supposed to be,right? And this take a lot of efforts and hardwork. Nothing is free. To achieve something i have to work hard on it. I will inshaAllah.
silentstoryofme 